Over a Candle

I’ve been listening to various reports on NPR about the continuing battle over California’s Proposition 8. That’s the referendum narrowly passed by California voters banning gay marriage. I must admit, I am completely baffled.

One of the things I try very hard to do is to understand different perspectives. And I think I do a fairly good job of it. I understand theists. And I understand atheists. (Even when I adamantly disagree with both.) I understand pro-life advocates and pro-choice advocates. I even understand people who support the war in Iraq and Afghanistan.

But I do not understand people who oppose gay marriage. I am at a loss as to how someone else getting married affects other people’s marriage. People get married all the time, and none of their nuptials affects my relationship with Ronni in any way, shape or form.

I don’t understand what they feel threatened by. How is more people in loving, committed relationships a bad thing? How does that devalue marriage? And how can people still believe that civil unions, the latest example of “separate but equal,” can be an acceptable response?

I don’t get it. Maybe I’m just too tired. It’s not that I don’t agree with the arguments, it’s that I don’t even understand them. And that’s not a usual position for me to be in. It feels like an intellectual failure.

I’m not hopeful that the California court will overturn Proposition 8. And that’s too bad. I hope that this goes back on the ballot and that supporters of equal rights in California learn from the mistakes of last year’s campaign.

It’s disheartening to see this much bias and discrimination alive and well in the 21st century.

I’m trying to decide which is bigger news that the Iraq war will be over in four years or that, for the moment, California has finally given full rights to same-sex couples.

I think a lot depends on the outcome of the November election.

If John McCain doesn’t win the presidency, then his bizarre predictions will remain simply odd footnotes to this historic elections. But in case you missed them, here is a summary of McCain’s out-of-touch comments.

McCain believes Iraq war can be won by 2013:

COLUMBUS, Ohio – Republican John McCain declared for the first time Thursday he believes the Iraq war can be won by 2013, although he rejected suggestions that his talk of a timetable put him on the same side as Democrats clamoring for full-scale troop withdrawals.

The Republican presidential contender, in a mystical speech that also envisioned Osama bin Laden dead or captured, and Americans with the choice of paying a simple flat tax or following their standard 1040 form, said only a small number of troops would remain in Iraq by the end of a prospective first term because al-Qaida will have been defeated and Iraq’s government will be functioning on its own.

McCain wants to control spending, continue an exorbitantly expensive (and illegal) war, and somehow manufacture more military resources in order to deal with Afghanistan and bring down al-Queda. If he does win the election in November, I expect everyone to remind him of this little speech every day for the next four years.

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On the other hand, in California, there is a movement to put a constitutional amendment on the ballot that would overturn the state supreme court’s ruling affirming the rights of same-sex couples to marry. If the ruling is overturned by the amendment, then this ruling today would simply be another step in a long, hard road towards equal rights in this country.

The Terminator did say something hopeful, though.

California’s top court overturns gay marriage ban:

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, who has twice vetoed legislation that would’ve granted marriage rights to same-sex couples, said in a news release that he respected the court’s decision and ‘will not support an amendment to the constitution that would overturn this state Supreme Court ruling.’

If only he hadn’t vetoed earlier legislation. But he did. Still, that he won’t support the amendment is a hopeful sign. If the amendment fails, this will have been a good day.